Counting down... ...

I have exactly 3 weeks left.

Feels ... ... ... (indescribable) to be counting down yet again.

This time I'm back for so long, but have finally found back the feeling I used to have only recently. And yet I am leaving this long lost feeling very soon. 好不舍，为什么比以前多好多?

Although I am returning to the place I've lived for a year, the feeling is very different. I have to admit that I am scared. A coward, yes I am one. But I cannot help but to be one. I will be facing everything myself. A new school, seems familiar yet new city, new friends or colleagues, new professors, new researches and studies. There seems to be a big big big big big mountain in front of me. But why does it seems so big and unreachable this time? Actually I know why. It's the expectations. I am expected to be good, expected to be a scholar and finance-trained, expected to be independent and expected to be able to catch up the one semester I have missed.

I hate expectations. I have lots for myself. But I dislike those that are put on me by others. Because it means that I cannot fail and I have to do it. They become responsibilities.